Gold Mine

Posted on November 6, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I recently made a trip up to Boston to help my parents clean out closets and storage spaces that contain the relics of my childhood. In an effort to purge the no longer needed, my parents nominated me to make the call on what was too precious and dear to part with and what needed to find a new home in a hurry.

The major area that needed addressing was my sister’s and my old playroom that had become a resting place for furniture no longer allowed in the main part of the house.

Things only got worse before they got better.

But, boy, did they get good.

I found some real treasures among 3 carloads, 2 truckloads, and dozens of 55 gallon trash bags by the curb of rejected items.

This here is one of the Hanson brothers, also known as my little sister Eugene.

I found an entire box of cards that my sister’s classmates had made her when she had her tonsils removed in the first or second grade. By the volume of cards and the concern in her classmates’ scribbles, you would have thought she was having high-risk, open-heart surgery. She had many a reminder to eat popsicles, which had some very creative spellings. My favorite though, was this card from a young man who I deduce was named Harrison. He seemed to have some top secret information for Eugene on the inside of the card as she was to “plees opon alone.”

I found my Chapel signs from my senior year of high school. Man were those a trip.

This is me in 8^th grade with my kindergarten buddy. I think she’s applying to colleges now. I feel old.

Hard to believe since it was just yesterday that I was sporting pig tails and cat appliques.

Who remembers Lisa Frank?! I used to love to buy this stuff at the school store in elementary school!

I was unsure about this creature that belonged to Eugene. I sent her this picture to inquire about its nature.

Me: “What is this here creature?”

Eugene: “A horse in a kimono, naturally.”

Right. He was for sure a keeper.

Cards congratulating my parents on my birth. I’m not sure if it was a common thing to say back then (let’s hope), but a lot of the cards said, “take good care of her,” as if my parents were questionable guardians. This kind of made me laugh/worry.

This is a realtor packet from 1992 when my parents sold their first home in Maryland, where Eugene and I were born.

Apparently I took interest in homes and real estate at a young age as it appears I added my own notes to the list of house features.

I had a lot to add.

And that was only day one.

Y’all be good,

Sugarlump

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!

Posted on October 19, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Miss me?

Well, I missed you all, internet friends!

Sorry for not posting for, like, ever. In the past few months I’ve moved, changed jobs, learned how to dye my hair myself, had a lot of family and friends visiting, discovered a new breakfast delight, replaced the brakes on my car and it’s been just crazy.

Just a little recap:

I’m Emily

I’m five.

Plus twenty.

But really I’m five at heart.

And stomach.

(what?)

A short time ago, I decided to start eating cereal again. I had given it up on my gluten-free kick but decided that gluten was not my enemy, but that, in fact, diary is. Unfortunate for a girl who grew up drinking milk almost exclusively, would choose cheese over almost anything (love me some savory), and thinks sour cream is a good addition to almost everything. Except cereal.

Anyway, I was perusing the cereal aisle (I always forget that word has an A in it – thank you spell check!) at Kroger in search of a long lost childhood favorite, Berry Berry Kix. This was the closest I came to “sugary” cereal as a child and it holds a dear place in my heart, unlike Raisin Bran and Chex. I would savor the opportunity to eat Lucky Charms or Trix when sleeping over friends’ houses, but I don’t recall ever being granted permission to put any of these delicacies into the shopping cart during my formative years.

Eager to hug a box of Berry Berry Kix, I searched up and down the aisle (I remembered the A this time!) probably 13-17 times, convinced I had somehow missed it among the hundreds of cereals. I could picture the box as clear as day. Purple. An image of the cereal, mostly regular kix with bunches of “berries” scattered throughout in purple and maroon. To my horror, it appeared that Berry Berry Kix had been taken off the market. It was a sad moment.

Until I came across a new specimen of cereal: Oops! All Berries.

Let me assure you, this was no oops.

Some brilliant mind took the best part of the cereal from Captain Crunch, which tastes much like the berries in Berry Berry Kix because, after all, they’re all berries (well, “berries”), and made a cereal out of them. Genius! I can’t tell you how many times I used to eat all of the regular kix out of Berry Berry kix, saving the berries for last. I did the same with lucky charms, leaving all of the marshmallows for a few bites of pure sugary heaven. Someone should invent Oops! All Charms because, let’s be honest, who likes those funky, somewhat sweet cheerio-ish things in Lucky Charms anyway?

No one.

The plain kix weren’t as bad, but this new cereal requires much less legwork with my spoon at 7:30 AM and provides a much more satisfying breakfast experience as each bite is just as enjoyable and indulgent as the last.

My life is forever changed.

There are, however, a few side effects: acute ADD and hunger in less than an hour.

And I think my teeth are going to rot and fall out of my mouth.

I have dreams that my teeth fall out all of the time. It’s horrifying.

My Mom might have been on to something with that whole” no sugary cereal” bit.

I want some cheese.

I think eating salt after sugar cancels it out, right?

Oh, how I’ve missed you all.

Y’all hurry back and I will, too,

Sugarlump

Inherited Mischief

Posted on January 7, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I’ve recently taken an interest in target shooting. Most people who know me find this surprising/troubling. Not to worry, you skeptics, I only care to shoot inanimate objects.

Uncle Santa gave me, my sister and cousins each a box of shells and some targets for Christmas. I think it’s one of my favorite gifts ever. Maybe next year I’ll ask for a gun. Watch out.

I was so excited to go out shooting the day after Christmas, but the weather was most uncooperative. A nice rotation of rain/sleet/snow carried on all day so my box of shells is still unopened.

Christmas night, as we were discussing our plans for the following day, Granny shared with us that she didn’t want her girls shooting guns. My dad called her out on this immediately because she shot guns all the time growing up. She said that didn’t matter; she still didn’t want us shooting guns. My dad overruled her on a count of hypocrisy.

All four of us are also adults and can shoot a gun even if our Granny doesn’t want us to, but we didn’t dare bring that up. We are and always will be her “babies” even though we’re no longer 2, 3, 5 and 7 like she thinks we are.

It’s no secret that my Granny was somewhat of a mischievous child. Shooting guns was just the beginning. We asked Granny to tell us some stories that night and it wasn’t long before we were all laughing so hard it hurt. There were some really good ones that involved playing hooky.

We asked Granny what she did when she skipped school one day for an entire day.

Granny: “Well, we had never seen a trial.”

Family in unison: “You skipped school to go to the courthouse?!?!”

Granny: “Yes, and we sat there all day and there wasn’t even a trial so we just went back to school.”

After we all died laughing, we just sat there for a few minutes processing Granny’s rather unusual item on her bucket list that warranted skipping school.

The next story was even better.

One day in high school, several couples who were “courting” decided to leave school without permission.

Granny said, “Now, our principle was a mean old man and he stuttered. “

Upon being caught, the couples were ordered back to school. They walked down the hall, past the principle, who had a habit of pulling up his britches when he was mad.

Granny stood up and hiked up her pants in the front using her forearms, imitating the principle.

We all just about lost it and waited for the punchline with the stutter.

Granny said, “He was so mad, he didn’t say a word.”

We all sat there for a minute and then questioned Granny as to what the fact that he stuttered had to do with the story if he never even said anything.

She just wanted us to know that about him, evidently.

That made us laugh even harder.

Granny always calls us the craziest bunch of young’ins. I wonder where we got that from.

Y’all mind your Grannies,

Sugarlump

Christmases Past

Posted on December 25, 2012 by The Sugarlump

I stumbled across a few gems from Christmases in the late 1980’s/early 1990’s.

Evidently, I used to be a Christmas angel.

(My mother just informed me that this was not a good day.

Apparently, I did not want to have my picture taken.

Can you blame me?

Two words, Mom: white tights.)

While sitting to have my picture made was not high on my list, I certainly got my money’s worth out of my toys. Never was a child more content to play with her dollhouse for hours on end.

I enjoyed commanding the attention of many a den full of family members.

I was happy to pitch in and help document the family Christmas.

(Thankfully, Fashion Police hasn’t gotten wind of these pants. I was a very skinny toddler and all I can say about these pants is that my mother must have had high hopes that I would expand drastically and require pant legs large enough to store my toys in. No such luck. I bet even now I wouldn’t have an issue getting those things over my thighs.)

Christmases were going swimmingly.

(Aside from the fashion.)

And then suddenly I wasn’t the only grandchild anymore….

By 1993, there were four.

Oh how Christmases have changed over the last couple of decades…

Merry Christmas, y’all,

Sugarlump

Showing Cattle

Posted on October 28, 2012 by The Sugarlump

Yet another gem from the childhood summer adventures of cousins Lauren and Emily, here we have documentation of our days showing cattle.

In preparation for our debut at the fair, Granny took us to the big city of Bowling Green to get some matching outfits. We landed on these precious denim vests, black shorts and black boots. Naturally, we chose to coordinate our socks with our t-shirts. And in case you missed them, we were wearing gigantic black bows. We kind of had a double layer Oreo thing going with the black and white. Granny added a nice touch by sewing little sunflower patches onto our vests. I think they really pulled the look together.

Here we are posing with our trophy cow. She was just thrilled to have a couple of little girls around.

This young lady certainly wasn’t going anywhere with all of us anchoring her rope. We were so much help. For all I know, this cow might have been a young man.

That’s my dad in the red cap.

I can’t help but notice that this calf and I have nearly the same leg shape: knobby.

Man was I happy to be there.

We don’t seem to have any pictures of me and Lauren showing our calves individually. Poor cousin Lauren got a wild one and I think he stepped on her foot a time or two. She persevered.

Granny and Eugene cheered us on from the stands as we won a few ribbons for our efforts. The event concluded with a celebratory Sippy cup of apple juice.

Today, cousin Lauren turned 22. In the 17 years since these photos were taken, she has learned a tremendous amount about cattle and showing them. Regrettably, the same cannot be said for me. Maybe someday we’ll get back out there in our sunflower vests and cousin Lauren can give me a few pointers.

Happy Birthday, Lauren! I will always treasure our summer adventures.

Y’all hurry back,

Sugarlump

Big Stuff

Posted on October 20, 2012 by The Sugarlump

I was big stuff when I was little.

Here I am showing the foundation of my childhood home in Philadelphia who’s boss. (The reality is that my dad probably asked me to go stand out in the middle of the foundation for a sense of scale.)

Prior to living in Philadelphia, we lived in Maryland, where my sister and I were born. Here I am standing at the front door ready to head out for doubles. I always hiked up one pant leg for good measure.

I don’t know what I am waving around in my hand in this photo. My hypothesis is that it was a VHS that I wanted my dad to come put in the VCR in the sunroom.

After my baby doll had worn out her welcome, I used her as a pillow when watching TV on the floor. I was a very resourceful toddler.

When I was even smaller, I used to help Papa check on the cattle.

I was taller than Papa.

Granny and I would sit on the front walk and have serious discussions about all kinds of things…like Barbie, Barney, and the Berenstain bears.

I even wrote letters to Granny before I could read. Here is one written the year my sister, who is now a junior in college, was born. It appears that I wrote largely in code, except for Granny’s name.

Man, I sure got my money’s worth out of childhood.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Sweet Tooth

Posted on October 18, 2012 by The Sugarlump

I have a serious sweet tooth. Actually, I like sweets so much that I would say I have sweet teeth. I think I have 4. Sweet teeth that is. Not 4 teeth. I have a lot more than 4 teeth in case you were getting the wrong idea. However, if I continue to eat so many sweets, my teeth may start to fall out and I may someday have only 4 teeth. But let’s not think about that.

I have no idea where I got my sweet tooth. It might have to do with the fact that there are a lot of excellent, and I mean top-notch, bakers in my family. As you can see, I served as designated bowl-licker as a toddler. I’ve excelled in this role over the years.

I was often quite involved in the baking process so it was only natural that I wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

I was very adventurous in trying new sweets, like Papa’s ice cream Popsicle.

My grandparents made the mistake of building cabinets accessible to toddlers. If you couldn’t find me, I was likely in the cabinet, foraging for cookies.

I sure love me some sweets. I also, however, really like savory food. I guess what it boils down to is that I just don’t like bland food. Can you blame me?

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Childhood Campfires

Posted on October 15, 2012 by The Sugarlump

When we were little, Papa used to take us grandbabies camping on the top of the hill behind Granny and Papa’s house. We would haul the kids’ picnic table to the top of the hill (read: Papa would put it in the back of his truck and drive it to the top of the hill for us) and Granny would load us up with hotdogs, buns and marshmallows for a lunch by the campfire. We always had a big time. I can smell the marshmallows burning just thinking about it. Oh man, those were the days.

I recently found some photos of these camping adventures in some old family albums.

Here’s my sister Eugene at age 3, roasting a branch and channeling her inner Pocahontas. She was wearing her idol’s shirt for good vibes.

On this particular afternoon, it appears I was thrilled to be roughing it in the backyard at the Fisher-Price picnic table. Cousin Lauren looks significantly less thrilled.

A few minutes later, there was quite a shift in the mood. Cousin Lauren is proudly displaying a walnut as I manage a smirk and continue to slouch. My dad would be so displeased with my posture in these pictures.

And, for Pocahontas, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.

Here is Pocahontas doing a little interpretive dance after her beverage. Or maybe she had to go to the bathroom. Either way, she was really getting the most out of our afternoon in the wilderness.

Always an adventure “camping” with Papa.

Y’all keep it real,

Sugarlump

Young and Fabulous

Posted on October 13, 2012 by The Sugarlump

I’ve been going through old family photo albums lately. Now I know why people take so many pictures and put them in albums: it’s absolutely hilarious to look back in time.

While looking through these old albums, I discovered that when I was young I was pretty fabulous.

I wore hot pink jelly flats, floral tops and patterned band aids. I must have been subscribing to the “more is more” philosophy of dress.

This shot was taken at the front row of fashion week…in Granny and Papa’s den.

I wore sunglasses in the house and Mary Jane’s on a regular basis. In hindsight, I might have opted for some sheer black stockings instead of the white tights, but we all fall victim to toddler fashion trends at some point in our lives.

Hopefully, it’s while we’re toddlers.

I wore sunglasses at night. My theory on this obviously practical choice is that posing in my sunglasses after my bath prolonged having to go to bed. My mom was eating it up. It was genius.

I rocked white faux fur. The paparazzi (my dad) caught me leaving the house in it Easter morning of what looks to be 1991.

This was my parents’ first home, purchased in the era of the high-teen mortgage rates. And, bless their hearts, they still managed to keep me stylin’.

I wish I were as fabulous now as I was then. I’m not sure that I could pull off any of these things now.

More to come on the first decade on my life. Brace yourselves.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Dynamic Duo

Posted on October 9, 2012 by The Sugarlump

When we were little, cousin Lauren and I were a seriously dynamic duo. Every time I would come to visit, we got into all sorts of things at Granny and Papa’s. We had miniature chairs (which I believe had been … Continue reading →