Crafty Cousins

Posted on January 3, 2014 by The Sugarlump

Christmas Eve night, the Dyer girls got crafty. My cousin Kristen had bought a gingerbread house kit at Sam’s club for $5 on a whim and asked us if we’d like to entertain ourselves by putting it together. Of course we did!

We sat around Granny and Papa’s table and giggled and cut up like old times as we took a stab at confectionery construction. We’ve had some good times and crazy conversations at that table. One thing is for sure: what happens at Granny and Papa’s table stays at Granny and Papa’s table.

Though we were certainly enjoying ourselves, we took our craft very seriously, too. We worked hard to get the walls and roof pieces to stick together. We even enlisted the pepper and jam containers sitting on the table to hold the pieces in place as they set. We soon discovered that our “mortar” (icing) wasn’t exactly of the highest quality. I had the bright idea to use marshmallow creme as a binding agent because, as I recalled, it sticks to EVERYTHING. It wasn’t exactly easy to control, unfortunately, so one side of the house looked like it had insulation bursting out between the roof and the walls. Rookie mistake. We kept that side concealed from our photographer.

The kit also came with fondant (or fon-DANT! if you’re my enthusiastic cousin Kristen) to make the doors and windows.

It was looking a little rough there for a while, but with the addition of the windows, bushes, random peppermints adornments, layer upon layer of frosting that tasted like joint compound but didn’t act like it, and dusted flour (an improvised touch) it really came together. You could barely tell it was homemade. Ha.

Papa did say it was the prettiest house he’d ever seen. It was charming in a very haphazard, out of plumb kind of way.

This is where the $5 cost came into play.

Not 5 minutes after we completed the house, disaster struck and it toppled to its death on the way to the dining room table from the kitchen table. No one was sadder than Granny. She almost cried for us. We took it pretty well.

For next year, we’ve vowed to make our own superglue-infused icing and construct the house out of graham crackers instead of gingerbread so the walls and roof aren’t so heavy. Just wait for it. It will be epic. And we’ll have Papa write us a State Farm homeowners’ policy just in case.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

J’adore Holiday Decor

Posted on December 29, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I was glad to have a house to decorate this year for Christmas. The only thing is that I forgot how much work is involved. Not that I’m complaining! There is nothing that warms my heart more than a house adorned with greenery, poinsettias, candles and shiny things. Top it off with a Frasier Fir or Holiday Bayberry candle, and I might just explode with joy!

I took advantage of having family in town the weekend after Thanksgiving to get the tree put up. We selected a mighty fine-looking (and smelling) Frasier Fir. Thank goodness my dear sister Eugene has herculean strength and could lift the tree to an upright position as my dad secured it in the stand.

The tree had a beautiful shape with impressive uniformity…

…except for this one little branch here in the back that stuck out like a tail. It cracked me up so I left it there. Who wants a tree without a little bit of character? If I had it my way (and by my way, I mean if I won the lottery and could justify spending 4 figures on live greenery), I would have one of those miniature, spindly, misshapen Charlie Brown trees in every room because I think they are hysterical and precious. Fortunately for anyone who comes to my house, my holiday decor fund has a limit.

AFTER my dad and I had strung the lights on the tree, I realized that my transition from the LED lights purchased last year for my tree that was half the size of this one to the new incandescent lights that I purchased this year to bridge the gap was not so smooth.

See the annoying blur of the white LED lights against the soft, warm glow of the smaller incandescent lights? I could not stand the sight of it so yours truly went out the next day to get some more of the 200 light strands of acceptable Christmas tree lights. When I got to Walgreens, where they were running a 2 for 1 special, I noticed that this location had 300 light strands for the same price as the 200 light strands. So instead of buying 2 more 200 lights strands, I bought 2 300 light strands, thinking I could get away with adding just 1 300 light strand to my existing 200 and then keep the “free” 300 light strand for another purpose. Perhaps for an unsuspecting shrub.

I got home and took the wretched LEDs off the top 2/3 of the tree and began stringing the regular, lovely, perfect, warm lights from the top. All was going swimmingly until I reached the point where I needed to connect the 300 light strand to the 200 light strand. I would like to tell you that these are the EXACT SAME LIGHTS FROM THE EXACT SAME MANUFACTURER. I held up the 3 prong connector of the 300 light strand ready to plug it into the receptacle of the 200 light strand only to discover that the 200 light strand’s receptacle had only 2 holes. JOY TO THE WORLD!

After contemplating poking my eyes out with the 3 prong connector so I couldn’t see the darn lights on the tree anyway, I collected myself and began taking the 200 light strand off the BOTTOM 1/3 of the tree so that I could make unexpected use of that additional “free” 300 light strand. I was concerned that my math wouldn’t work out and the lights would be too dense at the bottom of the tree, but the result was passable for my OCD self.

I was pleased with the end result, even though my camera doesn’t pick up the delicate glow of the lights very well in low-lighting.

As if that wasn’t enough light-enduced drama for one year, I decided to put electric candles in the windows. All 44 of them. I thought I might get crafty and use the battery operated LED lights (did I learn nothing from the tree episode?) to save (cause) myself some trouble. I put one in the window and didn’t really like the looks of it. It was too white and kind of dull. To see if I was imagining this, I put a plug-in incandescent candle next to it in the window and went out in the yard to compare the two from a distance. NO COMPARISON. I really wanted to like the LEDs for their energy savings and convenience; however, there might as well have been no candle in the window if I had opted for this route. It was pitiful, really, next to the arc of warm light radiating from the incandescent. More work for me, but I knew it would be worth it. 4 hours, 2 trips to the hardware store, and 16 extension cords later, it was totally worth it. I promise. It’s really a crime that I couldn’t get a good picture of it for you. I haven’t mastered night photography yet. Or day photography.

After all of that electrical excitement, I moved on to a few more basic decorating assignments: the front hall, the front door, the porch, the mantle, and the kitchen island.

The nice man at the farmers’ market gave us a good deal on this Frasier Fur wreath. I found some of that wide, mesh-like ribbon at Hobby Lobby and finished it off with a big ol’ bow.

I also stumbled upon some large faux wreaths at 50% off so I got 2 of those for the large windows on the porch. They got bows, too. Please disregard the expired mums that I had yet to remove as of the date this photo was taken. Please do note the snow on the roof! Too bad this wasn’t Christmas Day.

My dad had to trim a low-hanging branch off the tree to fit it into the tree stand, so I used that to fill out the mantle. My gold pears from Pier 1 a few years back gave the mantle a nice, rhythmic touch. First, I prepped the mantle with some saran wrap to keep the sap from creating a hot mess on the woodwork.

The final step was the stockings, which took a little bit of time and imagination. You see, I had found the most perfect faux fur tree skirt and pair of stockings at Homegoods. The only problem is that there are 4 people in my family, not 2. I called all of the surrounding TJ Maxx/Homegoods locations and non of them had more of these treasures. I had to get creative and settle on an eclectic look with the addition of another type of fur stocking and a fabulous sequined one, which I made my dad’s. He was confused and probably a little disturbed by this. It made me laugh.

On the topic of confused and disturbed, for my holiday arrangements in the kitchen and foyer, I spray-painted some branches gold. But not just any branches. Branches that came from 12 foot tree limbs that fell during an intense wind storm we had here in Nashville on Halloween. I drug these branches out of the yard and into my garage. I’m sure my neighbors thought I was crazy. You’d be amazed by what a little metallic gold spray paint and a small hand saw can do.

When it comes to holiday decorations, I think simple and natural is best…

…until I have to take it all down.

Covered in pine needles,

Sugarlump

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!

Posted on October 19, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Miss me?

Well, I missed you all, internet friends!

Sorry for not posting for, like, ever. In the past few months I’ve moved, changed jobs, learned how to dye my hair myself, had a lot of family and friends visiting, discovered a new breakfast delight, replaced the brakes on my car and it’s been just crazy.

Just a little recap:

I’m Emily

I’m five.

Plus twenty.

But really I’m five at heart.

And stomach.

(what?)

A short time ago, I decided to start eating cereal again. I had given it up on my gluten-free kick but decided that gluten was not my enemy, but that, in fact, diary is. Unfortunate for a girl who grew up drinking milk almost exclusively, would choose cheese over almost anything (love me some savory), and thinks sour cream is a good addition to almost everything. Except cereal.

Anyway, I was perusing the cereal aisle (I always forget that word has an A in it – thank you spell check!) at Kroger in search of a long lost childhood favorite, Berry Berry Kix. This was the closest I came to “sugary” cereal as a child and it holds a dear place in my heart, unlike Raisin Bran and Chex. I would savor the opportunity to eat Lucky Charms or Trix when sleeping over friends’ houses, but I don’t recall ever being granted permission to put any of these delicacies into the shopping cart during my formative years.

Eager to hug a box of Berry Berry Kix, I searched up and down the aisle (I remembered the A this time!) probably 13-17 times, convinced I had somehow missed it among the hundreds of cereals. I could picture the box as clear as day. Purple. An image of the cereal, mostly regular kix with bunches of “berries” scattered throughout in purple and maroon. To my horror, it appeared that Berry Berry Kix had been taken off the market. It was a sad moment.

Until I came across a new specimen of cereal: Oops! All Berries.

Let me assure you, this was no oops.

Some brilliant mind took the best part of the cereal from Captain Crunch, which tastes much like the berries in Berry Berry Kix because, after all, they’re all berries (well, “berries”), and made a cereal out of them. Genius! I can’t tell you how many times I used to eat all of the regular kix out of Berry Berry kix, saving the berries for last. I did the same with lucky charms, leaving all of the marshmallows for a few bites of pure sugary heaven. Someone should invent Oops! All Charms because, let’s be honest, who likes those funky, somewhat sweet cheerio-ish things in Lucky Charms anyway?

No one.

The plain kix weren’t as bad, but this new cereal requires much less legwork with my spoon at 7:30 AM and provides a much more satisfying breakfast experience as each bite is just as enjoyable and indulgent as the last.

My life is forever changed.

There are, however, a few side effects: acute ADD and hunger in less than an hour.

And I think my teeth are going to rot and fall out of my mouth.

I have dreams that my teeth fall out all of the time. It’s horrifying.

My Mom might have been on to something with that whole” no sugary cereal” bit.

I want some cheese.

I think eating salt after sugar cancels it out, right?

Oh, how I’ve missed you all.

Y’all hurry back and I will, too,

Sugarlump

Tackling Tiramisu

Posted on January 14, 2013 by The Sugarlump

There are very few non-chocolate desserts that I will give the time of day. My absolute favorite non-chocolate dessert is butterscotch brownies, which continue to baffle me with their non-chocolaty deliciousness. There are some things that cannot be rationally explained and I believe this is one of them. Next on my list of acceptable non-chocolate desserts is tiramisu, but only a handful that I have tasted in my life are up to snuff. One absolute deal-breaker is any trace of almond. In my opinion, it does not belong in tiramisu.

I tried to make tiramisu once before in my life. It was not a success. I went a little overboard on the coffee and put in about twice what the recipe called for because those lady fingers just didn’t look saturated enough as I was assembling the dessert. The next day, my tiramisu was sitting in a puddle. The taste wasn’t bad, but I definitely had a texture issue to work out. Unfortunately, I had volunteered to make this dessert because my mom’s boss and his family were coming over for dinner. They were sports and cleaned their plates. It was on that fateful day that I learned firsthand the valuable lesson that one should never prepare an unfamiliar dish for the first time when company is coming over, particularly company you would like to remain in good standing with. Instead, I would highly recommend preparing something that you have perfected.

My mother did not get fired in case you were wondering.

Since my tiramisu had knocked me down instead of picking me up, it was a while before I was emotionally ready to tackle it again. My neighbor Anna is Italian and a wonderful cook and baker, so I decided it was safe to try to make tiramisu again with her.

I only allowed myself to measure the dry ingredients and did not deviate from the recipe in the slightest.

For the most part.

When Anna and I were discussing the ingredients for the dessert, I offered to pick up the lady fingers. She informed me that that would not be necessary as we would be making the cake portion ourselves because it would be a better texture and flavor. Boy was she right on about that.

This recipe is a long one, but it’s not difficult. It originates from Southern Living magazine, circa 1988. Heregoes:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and line a half-sheet pan with wax paper and then butter and flour the wax paper so the cake does not stick.

Separate 4 eggs and let them come to room temperature.

Melt 3 tablespoons of butter and let it cool.

Brew some potent coffee and put 1 cup of it aside to cool. (I would recommend drinking the rest of it if you’re sleepy because this is going to take a while.) Add ¼ cup of sugar and a miniature of Kahlua to the coffee.

Sift together 1 cup of all-purpose flour, ¼ teaspoon of baking powder, and ¼ teaspoon of salt.

In another bowl, beat together the egg yolks and ¾ cup of sugar until light and thick. This will take about 5 minutes so I would recommend stretching beforehand if using a handheld mixer.

It will look something like this when it’s ready.

Then pour in 1 tablespoon of lemon juice, 1 tablespoon of water, and 1 teaspoon of ‘niller extract.

I love vanilla extract.

I also really like this nifty little gadget that allows one to dust cocoa powder on things.

Sorry, I got sidetracked by the idea of something chocolate.

In yet another bowl, beat the egg whites on low speed until they are frothy and then add in ¼ cup of sugar. Increase the speed of the mixer to medium and beat the egg whites until they are stiff but don’t overbeat.

Add half of the egg white mixture and half of the flour mixture to the egg yolk mixture. Fold the mixtures together until combined. Repeat with the remaining half of the mixtures.

Pour the batter onto the sheet pan.

Spread the batter evenly across the sheet pan using a spatula.

Then pop it in the oven for 15 or 20 minutes or until golden brown on top and the center springs back.

Let it cool for a few minutes in the pan and then turn it out onto wax paper and let it cool completely.

Carefully remove the wax paper from the bottom of the cake as that is not a texture you want in your tiramisu.

Then, cut off the edges of the sponge cake so no one has to experience a crunchy/stiff bite of tiramisu. Remember, it’s all about texture.

For the filling, beat 1 cup of heavy cream until it forms peaks.

Then beat together ½ cup sugar and 1 pound of mascarpone cheese.

Fold together the mascarpone mixture and the heavy cream. If you’re feeling rebellious, add a few drops of vanilla extract into the mixture. In my experience, a little extra vanilla extract never hurt anything.

It was Anna’s idea.

Next, cut the cake in half and place one half on a serving dish.

Brush half of the coffee mixture onto the cake using a pastry brush.

It should look something like this.

Dust the cake generously with cocoa powder.

Then sprinkle on some chocolate shavings.

Spread half of the filling mixture over the first layer of cake.

Easier said than done. Don’t be alarmed if some of the chocolate shavings get mixed in. No one will ever know and it will still taste good.

Repeat this process with the second layer of cake and filling.

Coffee mixture…

Cocoa powder and chocolate shavings.

Filling…

Some more cocoa powder…

Smooth the sides with a knife.

Decorate the top with dark and white chocolate shavings.

Then let the cake sit overnight in the refrigerator and enjoy the next day (preferably not with your mom’s boss unless this is at least the second time you’re making this recipe).

Here are the recipe cards:

(We deviated from the recipe a little bit by adding Kahlua instead of sherry or Marsala. Don’t tell anyone.)

Y’all hurry back,

Sugarlump

Inherited Mischief

Posted on January 7, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I’ve recently taken an interest in target shooting. Most people who know me find this surprising/troubling. Not to worry, you skeptics, I only care to shoot inanimate objects.

Uncle Santa gave me, my sister and cousins each a box of shells and some targets for Christmas. I think it’s one of my favorite gifts ever. Maybe next year I’ll ask for a gun. Watch out.

I was so excited to go out shooting the day after Christmas, but the weather was most uncooperative. A nice rotation of rain/sleet/snow carried on all day so my box of shells is still unopened.

Christmas night, as we were discussing our plans for the following day, Granny shared with us that she didn’t want her girls shooting guns. My dad called her out on this immediately because she shot guns all the time growing up. She said that didn’t matter; she still didn’t want us shooting guns. My dad overruled her on a count of hypocrisy.

All four of us are also adults and can shoot a gun even if our Granny doesn’t want us to, but we didn’t dare bring that up. We are and always will be her “babies” even though we’re no longer 2, 3, 5 and 7 like she thinks we are.

It’s no secret that my Granny was somewhat of a mischievous child. Shooting guns was just the beginning. We asked Granny to tell us some stories that night and it wasn’t long before we were all laughing so hard it hurt. There were some really good ones that involved playing hooky.

We asked Granny what she did when she skipped school one day for an entire day.

Granny: “Well, we had never seen a trial.”

Family in unison: “You skipped school to go to the courthouse?!?!”

Granny: “Yes, and we sat there all day and there wasn’t even a trial so we just went back to school.”

After we all died laughing, we just sat there for a few minutes processing Granny’s rather unusual item on her bucket list that warranted skipping school.

The next story was even better.

One day in high school, several couples who were “courting” decided to leave school without permission.

Granny said, “Now, our principle was a mean old man and he stuttered. “

Upon being caught, the couples were ordered back to school. They walked down the hall, past the principle, who had a habit of pulling up his britches when he was mad.

Granny stood up and hiked up her pants in the front using her forearms, imitating the principle.

We all just about lost it and waited for the punchline with the stutter.

Granny said, “He was so mad, he didn’t say a word.”

We all sat there for a minute and then questioned Granny as to what the fact that he stuttered had to do with the story if he never even said anything.

She just wanted us to know that about him, evidently.

That made us laugh even harder.

Granny always calls us the craziest bunch of young’ins. I wonder where we got that from.

Y’all mind your Grannies,

Sugarlump

Christmases Past

Posted on December 25, 2012 by The Sugarlump

I stumbled across a few gems from Christmases in the late 1980’s/early 1990’s.

Evidently, I used to be a Christmas angel.

(My mother just informed me that this was not a good day.

Apparently, I did not want to have my picture taken.

Can you blame me?

Two words, Mom: white tights.)

While sitting to have my picture made was not high on my list, I certainly got my money’s worth out of my toys. Never was a child more content to play with her dollhouse for hours on end.

I enjoyed commanding the attention of many a den full of family members.

I was happy to pitch in and help document the family Christmas.

(Thankfully, Fashion Police hasn’t gotten wind of these pants. I was a very skinny toddler and all I can say about these pants is that my mother must have had high hopes that I would expand drastically and require pant legs large enough to store my toys in. No such luck. I bet even now I wouldn’t have an issue getting those things over my thighs.)

Christmases were going swimmingly.

(Aside from the fashion.)

And then suddenly I wasn’t the only grandchild anymore….

By 1993, there were four.

Oh how Christmases have changed over the last couple of decades…

Merry Christmas, y’all,

Sugarlump

60th Anniversary Party

Posted on September 24, 2012 by The Sugarlump

This year marks my Granny and Papa’s 80^th birthdays and 60^th wedding anniversary. A celebration was most definitely in order. We put together an “open house” type party at their church and served cake and punch.

The happy couple in front of the treats.

Aunt Vickie had the cake and cupcakes made. They were beautiful and delicious.

As we were setting up for the party, we had a bit of an incident. I was in the kitchen with Lauren and Aunt Vickie and I was looking for a lighter to light candles in the function hall. I opened the drawer on the left to find a lighter for the candles. As I opened the drawer, a mouse popped out and ran into the back of the cabinet. Cousin Lauren, Aunt Vickie and I shrieked as I nearly jumped out of my skin and back about 5 feet. I don’t remember how it happened in my state of shock, but the drawer was then somehow closed. Aunt Vickie, Cousin Lauren and I agreed that we had not hallucinated, that the tissue paper in the drawer had been shredded by the little creature, and that we would pull it together and carry on with the festivities after this traumatic event. That is all I would like to say about that.

All we could find to light the candles was a box of small matches. I wasn’t about to open any more drawers in the kitchen. I already said enough about that.

We nominated Uncle Brian to light the candles since he seemed to have more of a handle on how not to burn himself instead of the candle.

Caramelized mums. Approximately 9 minutes after poor Uncle Brian lit all 24 candles, we had to blow them out so we didn’t burn the place down. So much for the ambiance.

Aunt Vickie had a beautiful throw made with pictures of Granny and Papa when they were first “courting” and married. I know they will treasure it.

Nobody wanted to sit at the tables until cake was served. We had a full perimeter.

Before we served the cake, my dad thanked everyone for coming and decided to ask Granny and Papa a few questions about getting married. My Mom had been asking them about it before everyone arrived and we all thought the stories were worth sharing because my grandparents actually eloped.

The Wedding/Elopement:

The story goes that Granny and Papa were out and about in Burkesville on a Saturday night as was typical. Granny’s parents had even seen them around town and were pleased to see that they were having a good time (little did they know what was cooking…). Granny and Papa knew of a minister in the county who would marry them so they took two of their friends as witnesses and had the minister marry them that evening.

My dad asked Granny to talk about what the minister said at the wedding and Granny said she can’t remember because she was just focused on saying “I do.”

My dad then asked how much the wedding cost, to which Papa replied that it was “very expensive.” The minister didn’t officially charge anything to marry them but apparently would take $10. Papa has decided that that $10 was “money well spent.”

Given that my Papa was such an obedient son and respectful person, it’s still hard for all of us to believe that they eloped. When asked whose idea it was to elope, Papa pointed at Granny and everybody just laughed.

The story gets even more interesting because they kept their marriage a secret for 6 weeks. One day my Papa walked into Granny’s parent’s house to see Granny and Mammie, Granny’s mother, confronted him, saying she knew he would put off telling them as long as he could (evidently, Granny had spilled the beans but neglected to let Papa know that the secret was out). Papa said he didn’t know if he should “faint or go blind.”

It was great to hear them tell those stories. I hadn’t even heard some of the details before.

And then it was time to eat and visit!

Quite a turnout as you can tell by the cake. And Granny was worried no one would come.

I was in charge of cutting this cake. Didn’t I do a beautiful job?

(Not.)

Granny and Papa and their boys, Uncle Brian and my dad.

Granny and Papa and the full squad: sons, daughters-in-law, and grandbabies (3 out of 4).

Only 3 of the 4 grandchildren have been at each their 40^th, 50^th and 60^th anniversaries. At the 40^th, Kristen wasn’t born yet, at the 50^th, I had just started high school and couldn’t miss that much school to travel from Boston to Kentucky. And during the 60^th, my sister, Eugene, was missing because she is currently studying abroad. Let the record show that cousin Lauren has perfect attendance.

Apparently, we were in need of some bossing. It was her party after all.

She realized I had caught her in the act.

This is so adorable, I can’t stand it.

This is equally adorable. Clearly, if there’s one thing my family knows how to do, it’s how to laugh.

The party was full of reunion of old friends and extended family, storytelling, and laughter. Granny and Papa seemed to have a great time and really enjoyed seeing everybody who came.

Congratulations on 80 years of life and 60 years of life together, Granny and Papa! We all love you very much.

Y’all give each other some sugar,

Sugarlump

The Addictive Blog Award

Posted on August 26, 2012 by The Sugarlump

Thank you to Peggy Isaacs for nominating me for the Addictive Blog award. I’m so glad someone else enjoys my little furballs as much as I do!

Award Rules:

Thank the person awarding you.
Share a little about why you blog and how the journey started.
Paste the blog award on your page.
Nominate 10 other bloggers you feel deserve the award.

Why I blog:

I started this blog as a way to capture sweet memories and experiences in my life and share them with my family and friends. I was inspired by the Pioneer Woman, who I first discovered on the Food Network and whose blog I now read religiously. Even though I’m not a huge fan of writing, somehow writing posts (to go along with the absurd amount of pictures I now take) has turned into a sort of ritual of reflection through storytelling. It makes me feel more connected and appreciative.

Somewhat coincidentally, I started this blog just before I moved to a new place on my own and it has been a great way for my family and friends to keep tabs on me and see what I’m up to in my new hometown of Nashville.

Unexpectedly, I have met some wonderful bloggers through this journey, who make my day when they “like” my post or leave a kind comment.

I don’t know where I’d be without this blog.

Blogs I find Addicting:

Thank you to my nominees for making me smile, laugh, scratch my head and reevaluate my life on a regular basis. I’m hooked.

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Sugarlump

Passport Service

Posted on July 18, 2012 by The Sugarlump

In honor of my 100th post on the Sugarlump, I want to share a very special part of my childhood. When my cousin Lauren and I were little, we loved to play in Papa’s old office, which was attached to … Continue reading →

Cricket, Cricket

Posted on July 10, 2012 by The Sugarlump

For the 4th of July, Eugene and I headed to Burkesville to see our extended family. As we went to bed on Tuesday night out in the country, we couldn’t help but notice how loud the crickets were. It’s funny … Continue reading →