I’ve recently taken an interest in target shooting. Most people who know me find this surprising/troubling. Not to worry, you skeptics, I only care to shoot inanimate objects.
Uncle Santa gave me, my sister and cousins each a box of shells and some targets for Christmas. I think it’s one of my favorite gifts ever. Maybe next year I’ll ask for a gun. Watch out.
I was so excited to go out shooting the day after Christmas, but the weather was most uncooperative. A nice rotation of rain/sleet/snow carried on all day so my box of shells is still unopened.
Christmas night, as we were discussing our plans for the following day, Granny shared with us that she didn’t want her girls shooting guns. My dad called her out on this immediately because she shot guns all the time growing up. She said that didn’t matter; she still didn’t want us shooting guns. My dad overruled her on a count of hypocrisy.
All four of us are also adults and can shoot a gun even if our Granny doesn’t want us to, but we didn’t dare bring that up. We are and always will be her “babies” even though we’re no longer 2, 3, 5 and 7 like she thinks we are.
It’s no secret that my Granny was somewhat of a mischievous child. Shooting guns was just the beginning. We asked Granny to tell us some stories that night and it wasn’t long before we were all laughing so hard it hurt. There were some really good ones that involved playing hooky.
We asked Granny what she did when she skipped school one day for an entire day.
Granny: “Well, we had never seen a trial.”
Family in unison: “You skipped school to go to the courthouse?!?!”
Granny: “Yes, and we sat there all day and there wasn’t even a trial so we just went back to school.”
After we all died laughing, we just sat there for a few minutes processing Granny’s rather unusual item on her bucket list that warranted skipping school.
The next story was even better.
One day in high school, several couples who were “courting” decided to leave school without permission.
Granny said, “Now, our principle was a mean old man and he stuttered. “
Upon being caught, the couples were ordered back to school. They walked down the hall, past the principle, who had a habit of pulling up his britches when he was mad.
Granny stood up and hiked up her pants in the front using her forearms, imitating the principle.
We all just about lost it and waited for the punchline with the stutter.
Granny said, “He was so mad, he didn’t say a word.”
We all sat there for a minute and then questioned Granny as to what the fact that he stuttered had to do with the story if he never even said anything.
She just wanted us to know that about him, evidently.
That made us laugh even harder.
Granny always calls us the craziest bunch of young’ins. I wonder where we got that from.
Y’all mind your Grannies,