After Hours Excitement

Posted on August 10, 2014 by The Sugarlump

I was up in the wee hours both Saturday and Sunday this past weekend. Not because I was out partying and living it up. Not by choice. In fact, I’m almost certain I was in bed by 11 PM both evenings. By choice. I had been up earlier that preferred several times last week and was looking forward to some much needed restorative sleep.

About 3 AM on Saturday, I was in a deep sleep, dreaming of wonderful things. Suddenly, I was accosted by a blaring alarm. At first I thought it was the house alarm, but then remembered I hadn’t set that. I then realized it was the smoke alarm about 10 feet from my head. I was familiar with these things chirping if the battery was dying or sounding if I had burnt something in the kitchen, but never had one caused temporary deafness for no apparent reason.

I tried the reset button and a new battery, but that only resulted in a few minutes of relief until I was again jarred out of my sleep and sure my heart rate would never return to normal. Thankfully my parents were in town so I went to get my dad to see if he could get the alarm to stop. I felt bad that I had to wake him up (somehow my parents had slept through the alarm blaring…) but he was able to take down the defective alarm so I could sleep in peace for the next few hours.

Last evening, I went to bed on the early side because I was tired from the previous night’s excitement. Around 4 AM, I wake up to some sort of ruckus coming from the other room. I turn on the lights and walk down the hall toward the noise. It seems to be coming from the family room. I come into the family room and find Miss Scarlett with her back to me in the far corner. Upon closer inspection, I see that she has a mouse cornered, on his back, with his arms up in the air as if surrendering and pleading for his life. No exaggeration.

He tries to get away a few times and she smacks him back into the corner with her big, furry paws. I moved to go get a box or some vehicle for escorting the mouse out of the house and must have distracted Scarlett in doing so. Little mousy made a run for it. Scarlett and mousy made dozens of laps around the coffee table until Scarlett was able to force him into another corner where I had several bags of fabric samples. Trying to escape the furry beast, the mouse backed up the side of one of the bags and fell in. Somehow Scarlett seemed to miss this development and proceeded to nearly hyperventilate as she furiously sniffed all of the other bags and the space between them. Meanwhile, I crossed the handles of mousy’s bag so he couldn’t jump out as I took the bag downstairs and out to the porch. I opened the bag and leaned it over. Mousy scurried out into the darkness. Back upstairs, Scarlett looked confused as to where the new toy had gone.

After reenacting the last thirty minute’s sequence of events to each my mom and dad, my head hit the pillow pretty hard. Scarlett slept off the excitement all day on the sofa.

Today, I bought some not so cheap restorative moisturizer that has extract of every plant known to man that will hopefully erase my newly acquired wrinkles, age spots and bags under my eyes.

Hopefully I will make it through the night undisturbed.

Y’all hurry back,

Sugarlump

My Sunshine

Posted on June 30, 2014 by The Sugarlump

The world lost a wonderful, furry soul today.

Little Gus was technically a cat, but somehow he was far more. Perhaps part dog and part human, he was his own breed. He always wanted to be with people and always had love to give.

Gus didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He was so sweet, I swear he was made of pure sugar. Such a friendly and innocent little fellow, he even made converts out of “non-cat people” and “cat haters.”

Call me a crazy cat lady all you want, but Gus and I definitely had conversations.

He would be looking for me, saying what surely sounded to me like “He-lloooo.” It was one short meow and then one long.

He would say, “Meow, meoooow.”

And I would say, “He-lloooo.”

And we would repeat this several times until he found me and came trotting around the corner, his little fur trousers swaying side to side.

I was certainly as much a fool for Gus as he was for me. I would sing to him “Rock-a-bye Gussy” And “You Are My Sunshine.” As I cradled him like a baby with his paws in the air and rocking him side to side, he would look up at me with those big green eyes. I’m sure he was thinking something along the lines of “I have no idea what that sound is coming out of your mouth, but I think it comes from a good place and I love you. But please don’t quit your day job.”

Oh how he loved shoes. He was a bit metro, I suppose. Particularly when I would return from being gone longer than usual, the moment I took off my shoes he was over snuggling up to them.

We almost lost him three years ago to acute kidney failure when he was just four years old. The vet said his numbers were so low, she was amazed he was alive and that we would be lucky to have him through that weekend. He made it through the weekend, and the next week and the week after that, slowly but surely regaining his strength and cheerful attitude. The past three years, he was on borrowed time, but it still seems far too soon to lose such a special little guy. He was a miracle in so many ways.

I really believe that he stayed with us to make sure that my move south went well, that I was happy and settled. He knew I needed him and he was always there to keep me company.

Thankfully, I took up blogging and got a new camera before I moved. That gave me the excuse to take a million pictures of my cats. I’m sure my blog readers got a little tired of the cat posts. But, hey, they were my willing (and only) subjects in my little apartment and now I have album upon album of Gus pictures. I will forever treasure the countless Gus expressions I was able to capture. He was such a character.

Last night, he was curled up against my legs on the sofa as usual as we watched the news. He tucked me into bed, rubbing up against me and hugging my face with his tail. I pointed out to Eugene how loudly he was purring. He was so content to be there with us.

We found him this morning laying like he always does on the kitchen floor where it’s nice and cool. He looked so peaceful. The vet said it was likely a blood clot, sudden and unpreventable. I’m so thankful he didn’t suffer. I just can’t believe he’s gone.

Gussy,

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy when skies are grey

You never know, dear, how much I love you,

Please don’t take my sunshine away.

Even though you’re not here anymore, I know your light will always be shining down on us.

Love you, little buddy.

The Sugarlump

The Cat That Cried Salmon

Posted on April 10, 2014 by The Sugarlump

It was a gloomy day in middle Tennessee on Monday. To perk up after my lunch meeting, I decided to make myself a coffee. I usually limit myself to coffee in the morning so this is a departure from my routine. As my coffee machine (the setting up of which I will detail in a future post) was warming up, Gus started having an absolute fit, meowing loudly and constantly, desperately trying to get my attention. At first I thought something was wrong, but both he and Scarlett didn’t seem to be in any life-threatening binds. I went to the fridge to grab the half-and-half for my coffee and Gus continued his tirade, putting his paws up on the freezer drawer and looking up at the half-eaten can of salmon on the top shelf. He had been fed that morning per usual so I couldn’t figure out what all the fuss what about. Then it dawned on me. The term “conditioned response” popped into my not yet caffeinated brain and I realized that Gus heard the coffee machine warming up, which usually signals that I am about to crack open a can of Fancy Feast for his breakfast. As I assume he doesn’t track time very well, it was morning for all he knew and he heard his cue to beg for food like he hadn’t been fed in weeks and his life was falling to pieces.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that he would pull such a stunt. This is how we started the day (after his first round of salmon):

I heard him crying like he was stuck or hurt and looked around the corner only to see him antagonizing Scarlett.

He meows pitifully to provoke her and then punches her in face. What a punk.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Knock Knock…

Posted on January 14, 2014 by The Sugarlump

During the ice age we experienced recently, there was a woodpecker that kept trying to peck through the exterior wall of my office. I don’t really blame him except for the fact that he made it very hard for me and Gus and Scarlett to concentrate. Me on my work and Gus and Scarlett on their naps.

Barney Fife and Andy Griffith had narrowed in on this situation, springing into action from their deep slumber on the sofa in a matter of seconds.

Scarlett tried to stare a hole through the wall. Gus got distracted by a woman walking her dog.

Scarlett assumed the position as the suspect’s knocking intensified.

Scarlett decided she needed a better angle.

Although this looks like a tender moment, Gus was not pleased that Scarlett infringed on his personal space.

Gus shared his feelings and Scarlett quickly made him regret it.

“Are you calling me fat???!!”

Tensions subsided as the two were quickly reminded of the task at hand. Mr. Pecker had resumed his knocking.

All in a day’s work.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Kitty Christmas

Posted on January 2, 2014 by The Sugarlump

Having had such a nice Christmas ourselves, it would have been just plain rude not to get the cats a little something. Not that they really care. They normally end up playing in the gift boxes anyway. But I happened upon another fabulous fur find and couldn’t resist getting the little boogers a treat from Santa.

I got them a big, soft bed and a new scratching/play toy combo gym thing.

While Gus was immediately hypnotized by the carpeted ball tree, Scarlett gave me the “I asked for a Play Station 4” look.

Scarlett pouted for a minute as Gus executed his attack.

It took a few minutes for them to declare the new bed habitable, but they eventually got in it.

The bed is plenty big enough for both of them to relax in it comfortably. This isn’t exactly the sleeping configuration I had imagined. From the looks of it, it wasn’t what Scarlett had in mind either.

After a while, Scarlett settled into a position with a little more breathing more. As for Gus, I decided to have a little fun with him and put one of those paper “ribbons” on him. At first, he acted like it was some debilitatingly heavy back brace even though it couldn’t have weighed 1/8 of an ounce. He went and sat in the bed with Scarlett to recover from his condition.

Then he forgot he had a condition and a back brace and decided that hangy-ball needed catching.

Mmmm, tastes like salmon.

Time for a nap.

Burst of energy!

Time for another nap.

He slowly overcame his condition, got up from the bed…

and started to step out of his back brace to check out the carpet ball tree from another angle…

Then he got distracted and had to sniff Eugene’s gift boxes…

Nearly free of his shackles, he spotted Eugene’s egg-shaped lip gloss that was evidently much more entertaining than his gifts. He and Scarlett then spent the next 30 minutes chasing it around the living room.

I should have just gotten them lip gloss.

And a Play Station 4.

Y’all keep it real,

Sugarlump

Gold Mine

Posted on November 6, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I recently made a trip up to Boston to help my parents clean out closets and storage spaces that contain the relics of my childhood. In an effort to purge the no longer needed, my parents nominated me to make the call on what was too precious and dear to part with and what needed to find a new home in a hurry.

The major area that needed addressing was my sister’s and my old playroom that had become a resting place for furniture no longer allowed in the main part of the house.

Things only got worse before they got better.

But, boy, did they get good.

I found some real treasures among 3 carloads, 2 truckloads, and dozens of 55 gallon trash bags by the curb of rejected items.

This here is one of the Hanson brothers, also known as my little sister Eugene.

I found an entire box of cards that my sister’s classmates had made her when she had her tonsils removed in the first or second grade. By the volume of cards and the concern in her classmates’ scribbles, you would have thought she was having high-risk, open-heart surgery. She had many a reminder to eat popsicles, which had some very creative spellings. My favorite though, was this card from a young man who I deduce was named Harrison. He seemed to have some top secret information for Eugene on the inside of the card as she was to “plees opon alone.”

I found my Chapel signs from my senior year of high school. Man were those a trip.

This is me in 8^th grade with my kindergarten buddy. I think she’s applying to colleges now. I feel old.

Hard to believe since it was just yesterday that I was sporting pig tails and cat appliques.

Who remembers Lisa Frank?! I used to love to buy this stuff at the school store in elementary school!

I was unsure about this creature that belonged to Eugene. I sent her this picture to inquire about its nature.

Me: “What is this here creature?”

Eugene: “A horse in a kimono, naturally.”

Right. He was for sure a keeper.

Cards congratulating my parents on my birth. I’m not sure if it was a common thing to say back then (let’s hope), but a lot of the cards said, “take good care of her,” as if my parents were questionable guardians. This kind of made me laugh/worry.

This is a realtor packet from 1992 when my parents sold their first home in Maryland, where Eugene and I were born.

Apparently I took interest in homes and real estate at a young age as it appears I added my own notes to the list of house features.

I had a lot to add.

And that was only day one.

Y’all be good,

Sugarlump

Tax Avoidance (Not Evasion)

Posted on March 6, 2013 by The Sugarlump

It’s funny how, when faced with doing your taxes, vacuuming the sofa and ironing your socks become wildly appealing activities. Suddenly, tackling that oil painting for my living room that I’ve been putting off since I moved in 11 months ago seems very urgent. Brushing the cats’ teeth and cleaning out that “catch-all” basket of receipts, screw-drivers, lotion samples, paperclips and nail polish is just too hard to resist.

Doing my taxes really isn’t all that bad. Because I own a business, I have an accountant who sends me a really nice tax organizer that makes the experience as painless and straight-forward as possible. Every year, after I complete the document to return to her, I remark on how surprisingly simple it was. And every year, I put off doing my taxes because something about it makes me want to do just about anything else. I can’t explain it.

Today, instead of doing my taxes, I’ve done 4 loads of laundry and 1 load of dishes. I’ve vacuumed, changed the sheets on my bed, rearranged the furniture and cleaned out the refrigerator. Then I happened to find myself at Homegoods where I purchased 2 mirrors that were not the size I needed, but I had to have them. Consequently, I have spent the last hour re-hanging everything on the walls in my apartment to accommodate said purchases.

At least I will have a fresh environment in which to do my taxes…whenever that may be.

Off to French-braid Scarlett’s fur. Doesn’t she look excited.

Y’all be responsible,

Sugarlump

Jailbreak

Posted on February 16, 2013 by The Sugarlump

Until recently, I had left Gus and Scarlet in my bedroom suite when out of the house so that I did not return to find them patrolling the top of the upper cabinets in my kitchen. I’ve heard that animals like to be somewhat confined anyway. Maybe somebody feeling guilty about leaving his/her animals in a small space made that up, but I was going with it. My cats had all of my bedroom, hall and bathroom to roam and they had all the food they could eat, water they could drink and litter box they could…well you know what I mean. They were all set.

Imagine my surprise one night when I come home from work and am greeted at the front door by two 15” tall furry creatures eager to see the world beyond the front door. I quickly closed the door and stood there for a minute, amazed that they could have gotten out. I have small French doors that must be very forcefully pulled open and closed for the spring to lock. How a 13 pound cat without thumbs or considerable muscle mass can open a door I struggle with on a daily basis is beyond me. I thought maybe this was just a fluke and that perhaps I hadn’t closed the doors all the way. But lo and behold, the next day, I was again welcomed home/hounded for food at the front door.

When my parents were here a couple of weeks back, we decided to run an experiment to see how long it takes them to get the door open. I closed the cats in my bedroom and headed out to work, leaving my mom in the living room. My mom texted me not 20 minutes later that she had company. Those little rascals.

I also used to close my bedroom suite a night to keep the cats from standing on the stove and potentially scorching a tail or two. In the middle of the night after the first few daytime escapes, I would hear the rattling of the door and then all of the sudden a click sound as the spring released and the door opened.

Turns out Miss Scarlett is the brains and the brawn of this operation. Gus doesn’t know nothin’ ‘bout nothin’.

I have relented and let them roam the place as they please when I am gone now. Although the other night, I had my hands full of groceries as I walked in the door and little Mr. Gus waltzed right out into the breezeway. I shuffled groceries at lightning speed and grabbed Gus by the tail to drag him back inside. I almost had a heart attack because there would be no catching that little booger if he got out and were beyond my reach. Ever since, I stick my foot in the door first and Gus has learned not to stand so close. In fact, the novelty is beginning to wear off and there are times Gus and Scarlett decide it’s not worth their energy to get up from their cozy perches to welcome me home.

I’m slowly losing control.

Y’all send reinforcement,

Sugarlump

No More Coffee

Posted on January 20, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I have eliminated coffee from my diet. It’s a dark time in my life. Mostly because I can’t keep my eyelids open.

I’m thinking of substituting green tea so I will have something hot and caffeinated to drink in the morning even though I don’t really like tea, even sweet iced tea (gasp), the drink of the South.

I’ll report back on my java-less journey in the near future.

On the bright side, the sun finally came out this weekend after a week of cold, raw gloom and doom.

I took this picture in the fall, but the weather was much like this today and yesterday. Not a cloud in the sky and warm enough to go out without a coat.

This little fur coat here spends the majority of his days as pictured. He does not, however, empathize with my coffee-less existence and therefore does not understand why I don’t want to get up at 6:30AM to feed him, no matter how loudly and pitifully he meows or how many times he punches me in the face.

It’s been a rude adjustment, but I think it’s for the best (yawn).

Y’all hold ‘er in the road,

Sugarlump

How do they know?

Posted on January 13, 2013 by The Sugarlump

It amazes me how animals can sense when we need their comfort. The other morning, I awoke from a very vivid dream feeling disoriented and sad. I must have jumped slightly as I came into consciousness because my cat Gus, who was nestled up against my arm, with his head on my shoulder, wrapped his little paw around my arm as if to tell me it was going to be OK.

I want to know how they know.

Because they clearly know when their humans need a little comforting.

And they’re happy to oblige.

Sometimes I take for granted just how precious they are…

…and then I discovered that a little furry someone left me a couple of tootsie rolls on the bath mat instead of in the litter box.

Nothing is perfect, but these little muffins come pretty darn close.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump