The Cat That Cried Salmon

Posted on April 10, 2014 by The Sugarlump

It was a gloomy day in middle Tennessee on Monday. To perk up after my lunch meeting, I decided to make myself a coffee. I usually limit myself to coffee in the morning so this is a departure from my routine. As my coffee machine (the setting up of which I will detail in a future post) was warming up, Gus started having an absolute fit, meowing loudly and constantly, desperately trying to get my attention. At first I thought something was wrong, but both he and Scarlett didn’t seem to be in any life-threatening binds. I went to the fridge to grab the half-and-half for my coffee and Gus continued his tirade, putting his paws up on the freezer drawer and looking up at the half-eaten can of salmon on the top shelf. He had been fed that morning per usual so I couldn’t figure out what all the fuss what about. Then it dawned on me. The term “conditioned response” popped into my not yet caffeinated brain and I realized that Gus heard the coffee machine warming up, which usually signals that I am about to crack open a can of Fancy Feast for his breakfast. As I assume he doesn’t track time very well, it was morning for all he knew and he heard his cue to beg for food like he hadn’t been fed in weeks and his life was falling to pieces.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that he would pull such a stunt. This is how we started the day (after his first round of salmon):

I heard him crying like he was stuck or hurt and looked around the corner only to see him antagonizing Scarlett.

He meows pitifully to provoke her and then punches her in face. What a punk.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Knock Knock…

Posted on January 14, 2014 by The Sugarlump

During the ice age we experienced recently, there was a woodpecker that kept trying to peck through the exterior wall of my office. I don’t really blame him except for the fact that he made it very hard for me and Gus and Scarlett to concentrate. Me on my work and Gus and Scarlett on their naps.

Barney Fife and Andy Griffith had narrowed in on this situation, springing into action from their deep slumber on the sofa in a matter of seconds.

Scarlett tried to stare a hole through the wall. Gus got distracted by a woman walking her dog.

Scarlett assumed the position as the suspect’s knocking intensified.

Scarlett decided she needed a better angle.

Although this looks like a tender moment, Gus was not pleased that Scarlett infringed on his personal space.

Gus shared his feelings and Scarlett quickly made him regret it.

“Are you calling me fat???!!”

Tensions subsided as the two were quickly reminded of the task at hand. Mr. Pecker had resumed his knocking.

All in a day’s work.

Y’all come back,

Sugarlump

Apocalypse Averted

Posted on January 11, 2014 by The Sugarlump

I went outside the other day. It was terrible. I don’t think I’ll do it again for a while. Not that I’m having much better luck indoors. A delightful side effect of these frigid temperatures: reduced amperage to my cable box. Or something like that. Translation: my connection freezes every 45 seconds, making it extremely irritating to try to watch TV as I only get about 1/17th of every story on the news.

So I had nothing left to do except hunker down and make food like the end of the world was imminent. I made LOTS of tomato soup, which Eugene and I feasted on for several meals, and homemade meat sauce. I froze most of it so now I have a very full freezer and I’m tomatoed out.

Tomato soup with grilled cheese…

Tomato soup with garlic bread…

Naturally, I also had to make something sweet. I decided to make those peanut butter chocolate kiss cookies. My recipe made 20 cookies but I only had 17 kisses (don’t ask me how that happened) so I had to improvise a little. I adorned the 3 kiss-less cookies with a row of chocolate chips. Eugene said she actually preferred this set-up because the chocolate was more manageable and evenly distributed. I can see her point, but the cookies are totally not as cute without the kisses.

Scarlett thought these drastic times called for drastic measures and the relaxation of house rules like the one about her not being allowed on my coats or the table and especially not both at the same time.

She was wrong. Busted.

Gus is having a hard time coping.

Things were getting really rough. It was so cold that the water draining from Eugene’s car was frozen mid-air.

In fact, conditions were so bad that Eugene casually mentioned something about how she thinks ironing is “kind of therapeutic.” I think she kind of slipped on some ice and hit her head.

Thankfully, when the sun comes up tomorrow it will be over 50 degrees. Back to some sense of normalcy…or as close to normal as things get around here.

Y’all hurry back,

Sugarlump

Kitty Christmas

Posted on January 2, 2014 by The Sugarlump

Having had such a nice Christmas ourselves, it would have been just plain rude not to get the cats a little something. Not that they really care. They normally end up playing in the gift boxes anyway. But I happened upon another fabulous fur find and couldn’t resist getting the little boogers a treat from Santa.

I got them a big, soft bed and a new scratching/play toy combo gym thing.

While Gus was immediately hypnotized by the carpeted ball tree, Scarlett gave me the “I asked for a Play Station 4” look.

Scarlett pouted for a minute as Gus executed his attack.

It took a few minutes for them to declare the new bed habitable, but they eventually got in it.

The bed is plenty big enough for both of them to relax in it comfortably. This isn’t exactly the sleeping configuration I had imagined. From the looks of it, it wasn’t what Scarlett had in mind either.

After a while, Scarlett settled into a position with a little more breathing more. As for Gus, I decided to have a little fun with him and put one of those paper “ribbons” on him. At first, he acted like it was some debilitatingly heavy back brace even though it couldn’t have weighed 1/8 of an ounce. He went and sat in the bed with Scarlett to recover from his condition.

Then he forgot he had a condition and a back brace and decided that hangy-ball needed catching.

Mmmm, tastes like salmon.

Time for a nap.

Burst of energy!

Time for another nap.

He slowly overcame his condition, got up from the bed…

and started to step out of his back brace to check out the carpet ball tree from another angle…

Then he got distracted and had to sniff Eugene’s gift boxes…

Nearly free of his shackles, he spotted Eugene’s egg-shaped lip gloss that was evidently much more entertaining than his gifts. He and Scarlett then spent the next 30 minutes chasing it around the living room.

I should have just gotten them lip gloss.

And a Play Station 4.

Y’all keep it real,

Sugarlump

One Year Sweeter

Posted on March 18, 2013 by The Sugarlump

Today is the one year anniversary of the Sugarlump, which means I have lived in Nashville for almost one year. Man, does time fly. I have a few reflections to share on this momentous day:

While I started this blog mainly to capture moments of my life that I never want to forget, it has proven to be so much more. It eased me through the transition to my new home. It has kept me connected to my family and friends who regularly read the Sugarlump and comment. In turn, it assures them that I am alive and well. Some of my extended family members and family friends have probably learned more about me through reading my blog this past year than they had learned about me in all the years they’ve known me combined. Whether that’s good or bad, I don’t know. I’m just putting it all out there.

Most surprisingly, The Sugarlump has connected me to new friends who I know only because they have found my blog or I have found theirs. Who knew complete strangers would take the time to leave a kind note or helpful tips? This blog regularly reassures me that this world is indeed full of good people.

This blog has given me the motivation to learn more about photography as it provides a great outlet through which to share the thousands of photographs I have taken since moving to Nashville. I apologize to my readers who don’t care for cats or weather reporting. I hope to get out more this summer.

Though I am generally journaling-averse, writing posts has been a kind of therapy for me. It helps me to find joy in the little things as I reflect on my day. It puts things into perspective. It keeps me connected in a more meaningful way. I never would have thought I’d call myself a blogger, but a blogger I have become.

And even though I have slacked off on the blogging as my life has become busier in Nashville, I hope to continue celebrating blog anniversaries.

Thanks to my faithful readers for all of your “likes” and comments. You make my day.

Love y’all,

Sugarlump

Tax Avoidance (Not Evasion)

Posted on March 6, 2013 by The Sugarlump

It’s funny how, when faced with doing your taxes, vacuuming the sofa and ironing your socks become wildly appealing activities. Suddenly, tackling that oil painting for my living room that I’ve been putting off since I moved in 11 months ago seems very urgent. Brushing the cats’ teeth and cleaning out that “catch-all” basket of receipts, screw-drivers, lotion samples, paperclips and nail polish is just too hard to resist.

Doing my taxes really isn’t all that bad. Because I own a business, I have an accountant who sends me a really nice tax organizer that makes the experience as painless and straight-forward as possible. Every year, after I complete the document to return to her, I remark on how surprisingly simple it was. And every year, I put off doing my taxes because something about it makes me want to do just about anything else. I can’t explain it.

Today, instead of doing my taxes, I’ve done 4 loads of laundry and 1 load of dishes. I’ve vacuumed, changed the sheets on my bed, rearranged the furniture and cleaned out the refrigerator. Then I happened to find myself at Homegoods where I purchased 2 mirrors that were not the size I needed, but I had to have them. Consequently, I have spent the last hour re-hanging everything on the walls in my apartment to accommodate said purchases.

At least I will have a fresh environment in which to do my taxes…whenever that may be.

Off to French-braid Scarlett’s fur. Doesn’t she look excited.

Y’all be responsible,

Sugarlump

Jailbreak

Posted on February 16, 2013 by The Sugarlump

Until recently, I had left Gus and Scarlet in my bedroom suite when out of the house so that I did not return to find them patrolling the top of the upper cabinets in my kitchen. I’ve heard that animals like to be somewhat confined anyway. Maybe somebody feeling guilty about leaving his/her animals in a small space made that up, but I was going with it. My cats had all of my bedroom, hall and bathroom to roam and they had all the food they could eat, water they could drink and litter box they could…well you know what I mean. They were all set.

Imagine my surprise one night when I come home from work and am greeted at the front door by two 15” tall furry creatures eager to see the world beyond the front door. I quickly closed the door and stood there for a minute, amazed that they could have gotten out. I have small French doors that must be very forcefully pulled open and closed for the spring to lock. How a 13 pound cat without thumbs or considerable muscle mass can open a door I struggle with on a daily basis is beyond me. I thought maybe this was just a fluke and that perhaps I hadn’t closed the doors all the way. But lo and behold, the next day, I was again welcomed home/hounded for food at the front door.

When my parents were here a couple of weeks back, we decided to run an experiment to see how long it takes them to get the door open. I closed the cats in my bedroom and headed out to work, leaving my mom in the living room. My mom texted me not 20 minutes later that she had company. Those little rascals.

I also used to close my bedroom suite a night to keep the cats from standing on the stove and potentially scorching a tail or two. In the middle of the night after the first few daytime escapes, I would hear the rattling of the door and then all of the sudden a click sound as the spring released and the door opened.

Turns out Miss Scarlett is the brains and the brawn of this operation. Gus doesn’t know nothin’ ‘bout nothin’.

I have relented and let them roam the place as they please when I am gone now. Although the other night, I had my hands full of groceries as I walked in the door and little Mr. Gus waltzed right out into the breezeway. I shuffled groceries at lightning speed and grabbed Gus by the tail to drag him back inside. I almost had a heart attack because there would be no catching that little booger if he got out and were beyond my reach. Ever since, I stick my foot in the door first and Gus has learned not to stand so close. In fact, the novelty is beginning to wear off and there are times Gus and Scarlett decide it’s not worth their energy to get up from their cozy perches to welcome me home.

I’m slowly losing control.

Y’all send reinforcement,

Sugarlump

Cause for Alarm

Posted on February 1, 2013 by The Sugarlump

This week has been full of surprises. Tuesday evening, I went to ladies’ night at a shooting range and got second place in our bullseye competition. Everybody watch out.

Early the next morning, at approximately 3:00AM, I awoke to tornado sirens. This was the first time I had heard them in person since moving to Tennessee so it took me a minute to figure out what was going on. My weather channel alerts on my phone confirmed that we were under a tornado warning and needed to take cover immediately. I grabbed my phone, the cats, two cushions from the sofa, and my laptop and closed us in the bathroom as I set up a little fort with my cushions in the bathtub. I then decided I needed a flashlight and a bottle of water. Maybe I should have thought through my tornado plan a little bit more. In my defense, it was JANUARY(!) and tornado season doesn’t usually start until spring.

Anyway, as we waited out the very strong winds and tracked the radar on my laptop, the cats could not have been more confused/annoyed. They kept looking at me like I was crazy and tried to dig a hole under the door to get out of the bathroom. Apparently tornado safety does not apply to them.

Thankfully, other than some seriously violent winds, we were alright. There were, however, a few tornadoes within 50 miles of us that damaged several buildings and pulled roofs off of homes.

Less than 48 hours later, the temperature had dropped nearly sixty degrees from the low seventies into the teens and it was snowing.

It’s a beautiful, sunny day here as long as you’re indoors. It’s a whopping 17 degrees at the moment and with the wind chill, it feels like single digits.

There is still snow on most roofs and school was canceled, which I thought this was pretty silly, given that we got about 2 inches of snow. New Englanders wouldn’t bat an eye at that kind of snowfall. But then I discovered that there was still some dangerous ice lurking around as I tried to speed out of the gate at my apartment complex earlier this morning. I spun in place for about 10 seconds until my Jeep finally slid forward, narrowly avoiding the gates as they began to close.

Like the weather, my garbage disposal has been acting backwards this week. The other day, as I ran the water and turned on the disposal, instead of the water easing the food down the drain as the disposal ground it up, all of the food and water spun violently up and out of the drain and onto me and the counter. The maintenance man just found a metal spear approximately the size of a chopstick jammed in the pipes, courtesy of the previous tenant.

It’s been a strange couple of days.

In other (likely related) news, I’m back to drinking coffee, but just a small cup. Hopefully, things will now return to normal.

Y’all be careful,

Sugarlump

No More Coffee

Posted on January 20, 2013 by The Sugarlump

I have eliminated coffee from my diet. It’s a dark time in my life. Mostly because I can’t keep my eyelids open.

I’m thinking of substituting green tea so I will have something hot and caffeinated to drink in the morning even though I don’t really like tea, even sweet iced tea (gasp), the drink of the South.

I’ll report back on my java-less journey in the near future.

On the bright side, the sun finally came out this weekend after a week of cold, raw gloom and doom.

I took this picture in the fall, but the weather was much like this today and yesterday. Not a cloud in the sky and warm enough to go out without a coat.

This little fur coat here spends the majority of his days as pictured. He does not, however, empathize with my coffee-less existence and therefore does not understand why I don’t want to get up at 6:30AM to feed him, no matter how loudly and pitifully he meows or how many times he punches me in the face.

It’s been a rude adjustment, but I think it’s for the best (yawn).

Y’all hold ‘er in the road,

Sugarlump

What Next?

Posted on January 15, 2013 by The Sugarlump

This weekend, it was over 70 degrees on Saturday and part of Sunday. A cold front moved in and by Sunday afternoon we were under a tornado warning as it stormed violently. Yesterday, it was sort of snowing/sleeting with a winter weather advisory in effect. Today, we are under an ice storm warning. It wouldn’t surprise me if tomorrow brought a heat advisory or pollen alert. Hang tight.

It started to get icy in the afternoon. Schools closed early. I had the day off and have spent most of it under several blankets on the sofa, catching up on months’ worth of the food network. It was the laziest I’ve been in a while and it was great.

The cats are so confused that they have been snuggling with each other in the same cat bed even though there is one for each of them, SIDE BY SIDE. I’m not sure Gus is as pleased with situation as Scarlett is.

Oops, she heard me. Not pleased with my commentary.

I think I’ll go out for a Mexican dinner to spice things up a little bit. I lived in the Northeast nearly my whole life, so I’m not afraid of venturing out in the wintery weather. (I apologize to my grandmothers if you’re reading this. I promise I’ll be careful.)

Stay tuned for the next spell of bizarre weather. Get your bikinis ready.

Y’all be careful,

Sugarlump