Thanksgiving Trials and Tribulations: The Meal

Posted on December 24, 2013 by The Sugarlump

On Thanksgiving morning, I got up at 6 AM to get my 20lb turkey, Tyrone, into the oven. He had been brining in the garage for the previous 24 hours to ensure his flavorful tenderness. After several careful calculations, I heaved him up and out of his brining container and into the sink.

There is just nothing appetizing about a raw turkey. Especially a raw turkey taking a bath in your kitchen sink. FYI that’s a lemon from the brine, not a rubber ducky.

06:30: Judging by the mess, there was some serious cooking underway at this point.

Here I am mentally preparing myself to lift Tyron and escort him to the tanning bed.

A few last words. Bye bye, birdy.

Next on the list was to make the desserts and eat my breakfast since it was likely only about 7:00 AM at this point. Please note my “Oops! All Berries!”, the traditional thanksgiving breakfast cereal. As I noshed on my nutritious meal, I made brandy apple cake and derby pie. Technically, it was bourbon apple cake because I didn’t have any brandy and bourbon seems to make most things taste better. This wasn’t the last of the bourbon for the day, either.

My mom had gotten me this beautiful cake pan that was featured on the cover of Southern Living a year or so ago. I was anxious to see how cleanly the cake would come out of the pan and nervous that it might tear.

But it slid right out and looked lovely!

The pie looked good, but I overcooked it. While the taste was alright, the pie was so sticky that it stuck to my teeth like tar. This is why I make multiple desserts…with bourbon.

09:00: Princess Eugene arose around this time.

Meanwhile, I continued to baste Tyrone every 30 minutes or so. The previous owner of the home designed a lovely chef’s kitchen but only put in one oven. Have you ever cooked Thanksgiving dinner in one oven and in one day? Trying to juggle a 20lb turkey, a cake, a pie, dressing, sweet potatoes, roasted nuts, and popovers meant that Tyrone’s legs were a little underdone.

I promptly started measuring for an additional oven.

Looking golden, Tyrone!

About this time, I was roasting some pecans for the salad. Eugene walked in and asked if I was making popcorn. I gave her a very confused look and then ran to the oven to pull out my nuts that were so far past roasted that they were as black as night and beginning to melt into the pan. I took the pan outside and left it on the patio to get rid of the lovely smell. When I went to get the pan the next day, the nuts had been left untouched. They were even too far gone for the squirrels.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

At this point we had used every piece of cutlery in the kitchen. That is not an exaggeration. Things got especially tight when it was time for dessert.

My collection of serving utensils is lacking. And by lacking I mean nearly nonexistent.

As my mom finished up the gravy, she asked what I would like to put it in. In my imaginary gravy boat, of course! I scrambled for something suitable and came up with this silver nut bowl that was Aunt Anna’s. I think the soup ladle 4 times its size really completed the look.

Though we had a few challenges along the way, we managed to produce a nice meal. It was tasty, but not as spectacular as we had wanted so we started to make a plan for next year. Here’s a sneak peak at the menu: (If you’d like to come, please bring your own tailgating equipment.)

Fried corn! How did we forget this!!??? This is a thanksgiving staple
Roasted asparagus
Dressing patties
Root vegetable gratin
Bourbon bread pudding
Maybe just a turkey leg?

We’ll try to have the additional oven installed by then. Maybe we’ll have a proper table and chairs, maybe not.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Y’all keep it tasty,

Sugarlump

Thanksgiving Trials and Tribulations: The Table

Posted on December 15, 2013 by The Sugarlump

So I decided to have Thanksgiving in the new house, but the funny thing is that I have absolutely no dining room furniture. Not a stitch.

I did have these pine cones adorning the mantle across the room. I found them at a yard sale a few months back. Too bad you can’t sit on or eat off of them.

With less than a week before Thanksgiving, I had to put on my thinking cap.

My solution was not unlike glamping.

Actually glamping might be more glamorous.

Thank you to Costco and Ikea, I am the proud owner of a “dining set” for under $100. Coincidentally, I am now equipped for tailgating. I’m loving this versatile furniture.

Because I planned to serve slightly more elegant food than hotdogs and chips, I figured I might want to dress (hide) the table.

I found just the thing at Wal-mart: tone-on-tone ticking stripe fabric by the yard that I would transform into a tablecloth. Minor detail: Did I mention that I don’t sew?

Ta-da! With some creative cutting and folding, I successfully hid the evidence that my table was anything but solid mahogany.

I advised my guests not to lean too hard on my “delicate” table and explained that I was going for a more eclectic look with my “retro” chairs.

A little metallic never hurt anyone, so I started the tabletop with gold chargers and an actual vintage piece, a candelabra that my grandmother had given my great Aunt Anna before she passed. It was nice to have a reminder of her at the table. She was a great cook and an elegant lady. I think she would have been proud of my efforts.

Glassware and plates instantly made the table look fuller and shinier.

The table was beginning to look legitimate.

Then came some tinted glass bowls to add color and continue with the vintage theme. My mom and I made a last minute dash to Pier 1 for some golden yellow cloth napkins. I put together two low floral arrangements with my flowers from Costco. I love a show-stopping floral centerpiece, but I actually wanted to be able to see the other people at the table so I divided and conquered. I also added some burlap ribbon to my fancy chairs to complete my unique look.

I was pretty pleased with myself, especially since this set-up cost me less than the groceries for the meal.

Consider this my submission for the design on a dime challenge.

This is my favorite angle.

Eugene took this fab picture with her phone. I think it’s worthy of Martha Stewart Living.

This certainly wasn’t a traditional Thanksgiving set-up, but we all got to sit together around the table and have a good laugh. I’ll give thanks for that.

Stay tuned for the meal. It was not without its challenges.

Y’all keep it classy,

Sugarlump

Leopard Shoes and a 22

Posted on November 25, 2012 by The Sugarlump

I discovered something about myself on Thanksgiving this year and surprisingly it has nothing to do with food.

It has to do with weaponry.

I like to shoot guns.

But only at inanimate targets.

Don’t worry, I didn’t shoot a turkey.

I don’t even like turkey that much.

I’m more of a side dish kind of girl…

…Who likes to shoot guns.

I’m not really sure how we got on the topic, but I asked Uncle Brian if there were any guns I could shoot for fun. After our noon Thanksgiving meal, he came back with a 22 rifle. We piled into Papa’s truck and headed to one of the farms to do some damage.

Figuratively speaking, anyway.

When we got to the farm, my dad set up a very sophisticated 100ft target: a bucket on a stick.

We like to keep things simple in my family.

My cousins Lauren and Kristen shot first as I had not a clue what I was doing and thought I would benefit from watching them shoot a few rounds.

When it was my turn, I picked up the rifle, spent about 5 minutes trying to get my grip/stance/hair (joke) just right and then slowly pulled the trigger.

Click.

There were no shells left in the rifle.

Man, was that anti-climactic.

Uncle Brian reloaded the gun and I took a couple of shots. In all of the shots we took, the bucket never moved. We went to check it out and discovered several holes in the bucket (dear Liza, dear Liza), but the mystery remains who actually hit the target.

I asked for a different target that I could actually tell if I hit so my dad set up a small, empty water bottle. Having had some trouble getting comfortable shooting with my right hand given that my left eye is dominant, I decided to test out shooting lefty even though I’m right-handed.

Please take note of my highly appropriate attire for this activity.

I set up the shot amidst a cloud of skepticism from my family.

I pulled the trigger and wouldn’t you know I hit that dang bottle on my first lefty shot?

Here’s my trophy shot. The bullet hole was right smack in the middle of the bottle. I nailed that sucker.

Cousin Lauren nailed another sucker.

We set up some more targets and I managed to continue with a decent success rate shooting lefty.

That was fun.

Watch out. I’m armed and dangerous and fabulous now.

Y’all be careful,

Sugarlump