I got a new camera today.

It’s a belated graduation gift from my parents.  Belated, not because my parents are slackers, but because I can never make up my mind about anything related to myself.  With my clients (who pay me for ideas and decisiveness) and other people (who would rather I put a lid on it), however, I always have thoughts and direction.

My first idea was a nice ring, but I decided that wasn’t really a pressing need.

My second idea was for my parents to contribute to a sectional sofa for my new apartment.  And then I had this hypothetical conversation in my head:

Normal Person: “What did your parents get you for graduation?”

Me: “Oh, you know, three-fifths of a sectional.”

Borrrrrr-ring.

My third idea, after doing some number crunching and integral calculus on my rent and utilities expenses this coming year, was to have them subsidize my rent for a year, perhaps enough to cover some of my utilities.  Practical, no?  YAWN.

(Two months go by.)

(Oh look-a-there, it is now spring and I graduated in December.)

After taking some pictures of my interior design work and for this blog, I realized I did not have an adequate camera for my purposes.

(Pause)

(What if I request a nice camera for my graduation gift?!?!? O.M.G. that’s brilliant!)

I amaze myself sometimes.

So, anywho, today I got a new camera and I thought I would celebrate by taking a picture.  (But just one.  Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.)

Here’s what happened next:

Now, mind you, for all of my picture-taking life, I have had a little point-and-shoot nugget for a camera.

Thus, armed with my camera prowess, I took out my new Canon dslr in order to take my celebratory photo.  I unearthed it from seemingly endless layers of cords, pamphlets, warranties, instruction manuals, and other bubble-wrapped miscellanea about which I haven’t the faintest clue.  I then unwrapped the lens, took off the lens cover thing and tried to put the lens on the camera.  No dice.

(Apparently, the camera must be turned on in order to attach the lens.)

So then, naturally, I hit the “on” button.  No dice.

I then casually pushed the latch/almost broke the camera trying to open the battery compartment to discover that there was, in fact, no battery in the camera.  Hence, it would not turn on.  Duh.

Slightly miffed, I dug through the sea of camera accoutrements and found the battery, stuck it in the battery compartment and triumphantly pushed the “on” button.  No dice.  (And then I scratched my head…….Hmmmmmmmm…….the battery must not be charged.)  Duh.  Why would the battery be charged? That would be too easy.

So then I dug around some more in my camera box and found the battery charger.  Ahhh.  Finally, something familiar, just like my point-and-shoot’s charger.   I felt for the prongs to plug it into the wall outlet and……WHAT??….NO PRONGS?!?  Then I noticed a devilish little indentation on the bottom of the charger that looked like it hooked up to some sort of cord.  Steam then came out of my ears.

At my wits’ end, I returned to the camera box to search for a cord that had one end with a plug and another end shaped like the indentation on the bottom of the battery charger.  To my utter delight (overstatement), I found it, crammed it into the bottom of the charger and plugged it in to the wall.  (why me???)

And guess what? I now have to wait several hours for the dang thing to charge.

And guess what else? Just for kicks, I then went back to my desk and tried to put the lens on the camera again.  I got a little craftier this time and decided not only to put the lens in the hole on the front of the camera, but also to turn it.  And GUESS WHAT?!? The lens clicked into place and is now attached to the camera (?!?!??!?!).

But you know what? I still have to wait several hours for the battery to charge.  What a buzzkill.

So not only did I get a nice camera today (for which I am very grateful despite my challenges), but I also learned that fancy cameras are like spoiled lap dogs.  They’re high maintenance and have a lot of accessories that don’t seem to make sense.

And here’s the kicker:  Even after the battery is charged and in the camera, and the camera is turned on, I still have to figure out how to use this sucker.

So at this rate, I may have that celebratory photo by next Christmas. (But, I’m not making any promises, ok?)

Man, what a day.

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Sugarlump